So, everyday i wake up around 10, or 2, or 9 depending on the day i guess, crawl out of my room, Literally, because i don't have a door, so i put my desk up against the wall where the door should be, so i have to crawl under my desk to get out, it makes it kind of like a cave. I like caves. I guess, I've only been in 2. They're neat, despite the humidity and spiders. I go into my kitchen, which is normally clean, and also normally filthy as of late, i feel like people stopped caring about it. The kitchen didn't stop caring about you, ok? Its there when you need it, why cant you be there for it, I'm there for it, i live in it. I put water in a kettle, i heat the water up until it boils, with our gas stove, then i make some coffee, its normally alright, I drink it probably because i dont have anything else to consume, and I've got to do something when I wake up right? i stopped smoking. for the most part, I'm smoking right now, but this one doesnt really count, its my first one in 4 days, and I'm not really enjoying it that much, i mean, i am, but not really. I get on the bus. There's normally the same people on it everyday, but now that college just got back in session, there are some new faces. Sometimes people will try to talk to me at the bus stop. it always happens the same way.
My Name is (x)
My name is Mac
( i try to pick up something, like a stick or leaf or paper, and rip it into thousands of tiny pieces because i'm so nervous)
Do you go to school here?
Oh, what are you doing here
I dont know.
conversation over. And if I'm lucky the the bus pulls up, we get on, i listen to music. If they're really hell bent on talking to me, they'll sit next to me and try to continue conversation, it normally doesn't work.
I end up at one of two libraries. the downtown library or the Evergreen State College library, the reason why i say the full name is because on the bus route it says TESC and i always think its funny that the "The" in the name gets its own letter in the abbreviation. I go inside the library, I either use the internet, and look at pictures of cats, or check my email, or read about neat things on the science front, or go to the books and try to find cool comics or books by Haruki Murakami, they normally dont have either.
I then go home, stopping by the grocery store on the way, Ralphs Thriftway.
Not many people like Ralphs, but i do, its a funny place, and the people that work there are even more humorous. I know everyones shift, so i know the right times to go in to see the people i want to see, not that i talk to them, and they dont talk to me. But they know who i am, and our simple conversations always have much more meaning than conversations i have with any of my friends or strangers.
Will this be all?
Do you need a bag?
No, i live across the street.
I say the same thing everytime, and they know what im going to say, but they ask anyways, just to make sure. Its a smart thing to do, people constantly change their mind, who's to say one day that maybe i will want a bag, or maybe i moved, and i have to carry my groceries a far, far ways a way.
I go home, I go inside, and They are normally on the couch, or in the kitchen cooking, they say...
Hello! where were you
On the bus, you know, at the library (they know)
Oh, you want some food?
I crawl back into my room, most the time i wish that there would be a cat waiting for me on my desk, as i would crawl through the hole leading into my room the cat would curl her head to look underneath the desk, She would see me upside down, with a really curious look on her face , as if to say
She would know.